7 months, 2 weeks ago

Many people will say: To be a mother, we must balance the two things of "my work" and "with baby."

From my experience, I agree with you. This is a multiple-choice question. There is no way to balance it. There is no balance, only choice. Choosing means losing. Choosing the right side to make a choice is not to waste yourself. After thinking about it, how do you want to make another choice?

These sentiments are my little bit of life verification.

I was in the rise of my career, because my daughter had to choose to be a full-time mother because of her premature birth. It can be said that in my previous life dictionary, there is no such thing as a "full-time mother."

In the first year or two, I was also very anxious. Especially when I was looking at my friends’ circles every night to see the current situation of my old colleagues, I would not think about myself myself, think about the future, and then many uncertain factors will blow up. Come.

For a while, I took the evasion method and didn't look at the circle of friends. But to be honest, this feeling can't escape, because those uncertainties are my own inner voice.

1. The turn is coming: stick to the "significant" little thing

The first turn was a small D. After I was 1 year old, I got the "big J small D" WeChat public number. At that time, my status did not change at all. I am still a full-time mother, still out of the workplace, but now I think that the difference is that I have something that I can see every day.

Use a small D nap every day to read a few pages, record some notes, and then use the time she sleeps at night to write a story about her own baby. At that time, I didn't even think that my official number would be today (or I would definitely not take such a mouthful name "big J small D"), but it is such a small thing that I find my "meaning" every day: I am thinking about reading, time management is not bad, the original belt is also rewarding.

Therefore, I want to tell you that if you are very anxious at this moment, I will suggest that you find a thing, a small matter, do not first calculate "useless", but just "do not want to do it" from your own perspective.

Then stick to it, when you are questioned by others, "What is the use of this?" (My husband used to ask me when I wrote the 30th article in my official number); when you are also questioning "What is the use of this?" At the time (I also tortured myself when I wrote 60 articles in the official number), I continued to do so.

Then one day, you will suddenly understand the meaning of "meaning": it is not easy to develop desperately when you are in the wind; but it is not easy to be willing to be down-to-earth, to put every ordinary day that is inconspicuous or even a little bit mourning. We can give some added value.

This is the sentiment of my first year after the official year, that is, at that moment, I began to reconcile myself. The original meaning is given by ourselves. When I feel that I am a meaningful person, we can gain more. Meaningful things.

2, step out of the "terrible" first step

After I became a full-time mom, my life has always been very simple. I have studied and exercised with my baby. I have been away from the previous work circle. I have little social entertainment in New York. This state lasted for almost three years. It was the second year of the development of the public. Because of the voice of everyone, I decided to do live broadcast and share parenting with everyone.

At the time, my heart was very panicky, because I really didn't interact with so many people for too long. After setting the live broadcast time, I was thinking every day. "I am so scared. What if I can't speak to the camera?" More often, I don't know what I am worried about.

I don't know how many people who read my article now saw my first live broadcast. At the beginning, my whole face was stiff, but then I relaxed. After talking with you for a long time, the feedback was not bad.

Do you know why? Just five minutes or so, there was a "Who is this? It's so ugly" in the barrage. It is this sentence, I suddenly relieved, yeah, all kinds of things that I am worried about, and maybe even such a comment, it seems that there is nothing.

Many times, we can easily imagine difficulties more than actual, especially after a full-time mother has been a period of time, we are easy to lose the "target", often blindly inferior.

If you are having this mentality of "I don't know what to do" at the moment, then take a deep breath and then force yourself out of this "terrible" first step. What is the worst, and the job search is rejected? The job I was looking for at the beginning was not so satisfactory? In fact, think about it, it seems that it is not so terrible.

This experience has always motivated me to the present, and every time I appear a little "fear", I will even push a little and let myself experience the "terrible" feeling.

Then every time I found out, the worst was not the case, and most of the time, the action was better than the previous fantasy.

3. No low-demand work

But if you want to choose to go to work, you must understand that "there is no low-demand work." In particular, we definitely want to do a good job.

When I was younger than 3 years old, I thought about going back to the workplace to find a job. I was prepared to lower the requirements, look for the position of the brand assistant, and even thought about it, the worst curve to save the country from the office clerk.

It was not without frustration at the time, but I remembered an experience in my own university.

When I was in college, I was in logistics management. When I was a sophomore, I found the Metro headquarters in the internship. I was sent to the order department related to my profession. Two weeks later, because of the lack of people, I was transferred to another intern girl to be a welcome at the front desk.

The girl who was with me was very embarrassed. I told me every day how our college students came to do this. I came to Metro for an internship just to understand their ERP system.

Although I had regrets at the time, I felt that "if I did, then do it well."

In the following month, I was a welcoming guest. Every day when I arrived at Metro, I changed my cheongsam, stood straight, smiled and greeted guests, and I will insist on saying to every customer, "Welcome." One day, I still smiled and smiled at the customers as always.

Suddenly the customer stopped and asked the person next to him. Is this new recruit? The person next to him said that he was an intern at XX University and came over for two months on the summer vacation, before the order department.

After that, I realized that the person who stopped was the manager of the main department store of Metro. After that, he talked to me alone, and I shared with him the distribution of passenger flow during the time. After that, I returned to the order department and was responsible for a small project, which was a touch of core business.

That memory reminded me, and I want to remind you now, there is no low-demand work, only the low demands on yourself at work, the true meaning of work is what we created when we finished our work.

The same is to welcome, the same salesman, how do we do, how do we step forward when we do, this is the real difference.

Life is very long, sometimes a little slower, maybe it is a different kind of scenery.

Before I read the book "Principles", there was a sentence that deeply touched me:

“There is nothing more important than understanding how the real world works and knows how to deal with it. And the mentality in this process determines all the differences.”


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